My Beautiful Fallen Angel
by Alyx-withay
Summary: Do you miss me? Am I still on your mind? Thought I made you happy baby Then why was I left behind She pulled down her arm warmer exposing the many scars she had and held the razor to her skin....Reviews please
1. Chapter 1: present

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or anything do with this story. **

_This is my first fan fiction ever so please bare with me if it's not great but reviews would be great as well as suggestions. This fan fiction takes place right after Sean leaves in Back in Black. The first chapter is written in the present while the rest of the story is written in a flashback and the last chapter will be back in the present. Some parts of this story are exactly like the show and some of it is my own writing._

**Oh and I do not own Cassie Steele and her song Love Cost**

**I.**

Jay just dropped Ellie off after Sean said he was staying in Wasaga with his drunk parents. _Wow I must be that horrible of a girlfriend if he choose his alcoholic parents over me_ though Ellie.

Ellie opened the door and walked into the apartment that they shared that was once filled with love and happiness but is now filled with silence and loneliness. Silent tears ran down her face as she put on her CD player and ran into the room that she used to share with Sean. Snap snap as she snapped the rubber band around her wrist.

Just by thinking his name she started crying even harder as she went to her dresser. As she was searching for her familiar CD case she let the word's of the song wash over her.

_Do you miss me?_

_Am I still on your mind?_

_Thought I made you happy baby_

_Then why was I left behind_

Just then she found the CD case and opened it pulling out the first thing she could find. It was a razor. She then pulled down her arm warmer exposing the many scars she had and held the razor to her skin. As she thought of him again she pulled the razor across her skin leaving a gash that was bubbling over with blood. But she knew how much pressure to apply so it wasn't too deep.

She proceeded to make more cuts over and over again. She got up to number 15 when she finally looked down and saw that blood covered her arm. She went into the bathroom where she grabbed a towel and held it to her arm. She opened up the medicine cabinet and took out a bottle of peroxide and some cotton balls.

She then proceeded to clean her cuts wincing as the peroxide stung her cuts. She grabbed some bandages and bandaged her arm and pulled her arm warmer back up. She then walked over to the bad that she shared with him and laid down. Once she laid down she immediately felt the loneliness because he usually put his arm around her while they slept. As she thought of this she started crying and thought of the day her life changed, the day she met Sean Cameron…


	2. Chapter 2: past

_Great another year…which means more pretending_ thought Ellie Nash as she turned over and turned off her alarm clock. She got out of bed slowly and quietly to not wake her mother. She was probably passed out somewhere anyway and she opened her door and tiptoed down the hall to the bathroom. There she took off her pajamas and got in the shower. Where she just stood enjoying the warm water run down her back. Then she looked down at her left arm and saw some very recent cuts, and already healed one. _Sigh _said Ellie as sadness filled her brown eyes. When she finished she stepped out of the shower and grabbed her towel, wrapping it around herself.

She walked back down to her bedroom where she started getting ready for the first day of school. She first started by putting on a pair of fish net stocking with a red plaid skirt over it, along with a black long sleeved shirt with a black and red tank top over it. She went over to her mirror where she brushed her long red hair and put it into 2 braided pigtails. She then proceeded to apply black eyeliner all around her eyes. She put on her black choker necklace along with 2 other silver necklaces and grabbed her black arm warmers. _Can't forget those _thought Ellie.

Who then put on her black boots and her arm warmers and ran into the living room where her mom was passed out on the couch _That's what I thought _with empty bottles of alcohol surrounding her. _Sigh _Ellie picked up all the bottled and threw them out. She then grabbed the blanket off of the other couch and placed it over her mother. "I love you", whispered Ellie as she walked out of the house trying not to cry.


	3. Chapter 3: past

**I.**

As Ellie started walking up to the front steps of Degrassi she felt someone put their arm around her waist.

"Marco, we need to talk" Ellie said

"OK, about what El?"

"I'm can't be pretend to be your girlfriend anymore, last year fine…but not anymore, I'm….I'm sorry" Ellie said as she took his hand off her waist and walked away leaving a hurt and shocked Marco behind her.

She walked into Degrassi and saw a very familiar sight. It was her best friend Ashley Kerwin holding hands with her boyfriend Craig Manning. As Ellie started to walk over to the two of them, she got slammed into a wall by a very thin blonde blur wearing a jean skirt with a light blue t-shirt running down the hall.

"Uh, watch where you're going!" yelled Ellie.

"Sorry" said the blonde blur who turned around and it turned out to be Emma Nelson.

"Ugh, don't you just hate it when people do that" said Ashley laughing as she went over to Ellie. Then Ellie, Ashley, and Craig started to walk down the hall towards their first class…

**II.**

"Oh my gosh, I just pushed Ellie Nash into a wall like 2 minutes ago…I fell so bad" said Emma Nelson to her best friend Manny Santos.

"Hahaha" laughed Manny…"That must have sucked…did you get the evil eye? And how did it happen?"

"Well I was running into school thinking I was late...as usual and I wasn't watching where I was going and BOOM! and no she actually didn't give me the evil eye"…

"Wow isn't that graceful and that's a first she usually gives everyone the evil eye," said Manny as she grabbed Emma's arm and started to pull her towards Mrs. Kwan's class. "Come on we're gonna be –"

"Aaah!" screamed Emma as her boyfriend Sean Cameron grabbed her around the waist.

"Hey Em" said Sean as he turned Emma around so she faced him.

"Hey Sean" said Emma with a smile, who then leaned in and kissed him.

"Come on you guys we're gonna be late" whined Manny.

"Ok, ok we're coming," said Emma.

"Hey Manny, I like your shirt, where did you get it?" asked Liberty Van Zant who just walked up behind them.

"Oh umm…my mom made it for me" said Manny who looked down at her sparkly pink tunic type shirt.

"Wow she's an amazing sewer," commented Liberty.

"Ms. Nelson, Ms. Santos, Ms. Van Zant, Mr. Cameron will you please come and join the rest of the class before the bell rings" said Mrs. Kwan who was waiting outside her classroom. As they walked into the classroom they noticed their good friends Toby Isaacs and J.T. Yorke sitting in the classroom.

"Hey guys," said Sean as they all sat down near Toby and J.T. Bell rings

"OK class settle down and welcome to Grade 9"

**III.**

As Ellie, Ashley, and Craig made their way down to Media Immersion they hear some call "Hold up one minute dude."

"Hey Spinner" they all call back.

"Man I haven't seen you guys in like forever"

"Can't see why they would want too…you might steal something," said Jimmy who just happened to be walking down the hall with his arm around Hazel.

"Ugh, your still hung up on that?" added Paige who walked up wearing jeans, a nice flowy purple shirt with high-heeled black boots.

"Nice outfit Paige," said Hazel who smiled at her best friend trying to change the topic.

"Well you know, new year, new look, new Paige."

At the comment Ellie just rolled her eyes. They all proceeded to walk down to Mr. Simpson's classroom when Paige noticed that Marco was missing from Ellie's side.

"So Ellie, where's Marco?" asked Paige.

"Oh...um…we…uh...broke up," stuttered Ellie.

"Oh Ellie I'm so sorry, when did it happen?" asked Ashley

"This morning, but don't worry about it...cause I broke up with him," replied Ellie.

They all sat down so Hazel sat down next to Paige and Jimmy, while Paige sat next to Spin, and Ellie sat down next to Ashley who sat next to Craig. Just as the bell was about to ring Marco comes running in and takes the only empty seat, which was way in front of Ellie's next to Heather Sinclair. As he sat down he caught Ellie's eye and glared at her. Bell rings

"OK, everyone if everyone will log in we will begin to start today's lesson, oh and welcome to the 10th grade." As Mr. Simpson kept talking Ellie got an e-mail that read:

_What the hell Ellie I understand that you don't want to pretend anymore but you could have at least given me some warning. I thought you were my friend. How wrong I was._

_-Marco._

_Oh great he thinks this is all about him _though Ellie. She replied back with an e-mail that read:

_No Marco I'm not trying to hurt you but I would really like to find a guy of my own and not be stuck down with an imaginary one. I'm sorry…really really and truly sorry._

_-Ellie_

As Marco read the e-mail she noticed his face soften, he then looked back and nodded his head in understanding. Ellie smiled and mouthed "_Friends?_" Marco then smiled back and mouthed "_Friends_". Ellie then sat back and listened to the rest of Mr. Simpson's lecture.

**IV.**

"My god, she is such a cow," complained Manny as they left Ms. Kwan's classroom.

"Yeah I know assigning homework on the first day is bull s-"

"Sean!" yelled Emma as she stopped Sean from using any profanity as they were all walking down the hall towards their locker assignments when they heard the entire hallway go quiet. Sean turned his head to see why, and he saw two guys and a girl with black hair walking down the hall towards them.

"Who are they?" asked Sean with a head nod towards them even Toby knew who he was talking about.

"The one with the sunglasses is Jay, the other guy is Towerz, and the girl is Alex…trust me, you don't wanna mess with them.

As they were coming closer everyone flattened themselves again the lockers. Everyone except Sean of course.

"Sean you might want to move" said Toby.

But he was too late in warning him.

"Move," just one word but it was said with such force that the other students in the hall shrunk back with fear. But Sean just stood there.

"Na, I kinda like the view from here, but thanks for the advice."

Then Jay looked at Towerz and laughed, "Alright man what's your name?"

"Sean Cameron why?"

"Alright Cameron, you got gunts but you either move or –"

"Or you'll what beat me up? In case you haven't heard I'm the kid that deafened the kid in Wasaga in one ear," said Sean as he cut Jay off.

"Ugh, come on I really don't wanna deal with this punk right now" said Jay who walked around Sean. As Alex walked around Sean she bumped him and glared at him while Towerz remained quiet and just followed Jay.

"Well now, that was fun," said Emma sounding very annoyed.

"Yeah anyway…our locker's are next to each other Em!" squealed Manny obviously trying to change the topic.

"Awesome, where's your locker Sean?" asked Emma who was clearly over her annoyance.

"Um…down by the auto shop, well I better get down there since that's my next class anyway, Bye Em," said Sean who leaned in and kissed Emma.

"Bye, Sean."

_Well this is going to be one intresting year _thought Sean as he walked down the hall to his new locker.


End file.
